I went to Cambridge, and sat waiting for someone in a huge new Pret à Manger the size of a Victorian workhouse. I got talking to this bloke - or barista - who, it turned out, was half-Israeli and half-English and had just returned from living in Mexico, where he experiences considerable success as a wrestler. In Mexico he wears a mask which covers the left side of his face in the Union Jack and the right in the Stars and Stripes, 'to get the crowds going'. When he wrestles in England (and where in Cambridge you might do this, I did not ask) he wears some other less controversial mask whose details I forget. He grapples under the name Tico 'The Tornado' Gonzalez, and if you think I'm making it up you had better visit Pret à Manger in Market Street and tell him so. He only looked about twenty. I don't understand where people that young find the time to have done things like this.

After we had talked for a while, a manager told him to return to the counter because a barista must always be ready to etc. Disappointingly, the Tornado did not stand on his throat or scream in his face.

Then I drove to Ely with my wife, past a restaurant called the Slap-Up Tandoori. How good can a restaurant with that name, sitting alone at the side of a barren stretch of dual carriageway, be?